Have you made space for a partner to come into your life?
This is a question I’ve been asking myself lately. I am so content and comfortable in my skin and with my life that I don’t give a lot of thought to finding a partner. I mean, the vision of love and coupledom bounces around in my head and I am open to meeting someone, but in the meantime, I don’t put much of my focus there. So this question hit me a couple of days ago, have you made space for a partner to come into your life?
Science tells me that nature abhors a vacuum; if a space is available, the universe wants to fill it. So it makes sense that if there is no space, the universe doesn’t see the lack. So here I am in my awesome apartment arranged just the way I like it, enjoying the company of Lewi, my cat and best friend who guarantees that although there is no other human companionship at my place, I am not alone. And I’ve got a close-knit group of friends and family that I meet with regularly who fill my life with laughter and memorable moments. On top of all that, I’ve got work that I am devoted to and get much satisfaction from. It’s a full life – so where is the space for my partner?
This first thought leads to deeper questions such as, what does it mean to make space for someone? For starters, my apartment is full of my stuff, how do I make space there? Should I empty out a drawer in my chest? Should I clear a space in the closet and the medicine cabinet?…What about my leisure time? I have a full schedule juggling work and outings with friends and family, so what happens if I meet someone I really like? I gotta make time for him too, right? Where do I squeeze him in? Wait – he really shouldn’t be ‘squeezed’ in, right? That’s not the way to have a relationship; he will need to take priority over my other activities. Am I ready for that?
What about Lewi? He is a very jealous cat. I’ve had some issues in the past with Lewi not liking my dates and it doesn’t turn out well; those nails are sharp. So here I am with these questions that are only the tip of the iceberg, and I honestly don’t see that I’ve made any real space for a long-term partner. I’m not even sure that I want to. Have I become so comfortable and satisfied with the way things are right now that I don’t even want to make space?
On the other hand, there is no other relationship like a romantic relationship and the companionship of a spouse. There is so much to do together! And so much to talk about! And so many adventures to share! And so much growing and learning and laughing and crying and struggling and fighting and making up….it’s one of the best things about being alive. So where is the space in my life for this person?
I don’t have an answer. Right now, I’m just asking the question and mulling it over. I feel that it’s a really important question, a life-changing question. And my answer is even more important and life-changing. Right now, I’m just thinking aloud and sharing my thoughts with you, my dear readers. Maybe you’ve been thinking similar thoughts…have you made space for a partner to come into your life?
I’d love to hear your answer.