A Jewish matchmaker claims it’s not all about romance…it’s about learning to love better

As a Jewish matchmaker who has been working with singles for over a decade I know the single-minded focus that we place on romantic love.  Nobody wants to be ‘alone’ and many of us fear that we will be. This fear combined with the longing for affection and a partner with whom to share life’s ups and downs, fuels an almost single-minded focus on pairing up. And it doesn’t end for those who have perviously been married and had children; no matter your relationship history, if you’re now single, you’re probably looking for love.

What often gets missed, from my perspective, is the abundant love that is all around us whether we are romantically linked or not. And we don’t seem to put as much importance or focus on this love simply for the fact that is isn’t romantic. But love is love – no matter the context and it is an inspiring, empowering, and life-changing force. We have so many opportunities to demonstrate our love and strengthen our ability to love without being in a romantic relationship. You’ve got treasured friends, close family, loyal pets, good neighbors, close work colleagues – in all of these spaces there is room to develop your capacity for expressing love and the better you become at loving the more love you will draw to yourself.

I’m also a strong believer that loving yourself is key to loving others, so while you begin to consciously express your love for those close to you, you can also begin consciously expressing love to yourself. Many of us yearn for a partner who’s “got our back” – a partner who wants the best for us, encourages us to pursue our dreams, and pampers us. Yet I don’t believe you will find this person until you can BE this person – both for yourself and for others. Treat yourself the way you are dreaming your partner will treat you; treat those close to you the way you are dreaming your partner will treat you – this means that you encourage yourself and others instead of finding fault or blame – you display warmth and affection to yourself and others instead of withholding emotion – you are honest with yourself and others, instead of hiding behind little white lies – you give your undivided attention and focus to yourself and others, instead of getting distracted- you show empathy and understanding and forgiveness to yourself and others, instead of holding on to resentment and grudges…

Buy yourself flowers, and buy flowers for someone you love – for no special reason…pick up the tab the next time you meet a friend for lunch – for no special reason…surprise someone with a gift of something you know they like – for no special reason…offer your help and assistance – for no special reason. Once you turn your attention to where you can best demonstrate love to yourself and those around you, the opportunities will be abundant and you will positively glow from the energy that love brings to those who embody it.

No, it is not necessary to be in a romantic relationship to share in the expression of love in this world. You ARE an expression of love in this world. So many of us keep that love bottled up inside, waiting for a romantic partner with whom to bestow it – wait no longer!!!  Share and express your love immediately! Spend some time every day brainstorming ways that you can show how much you care for yourself and those dearest to you. Think of love as a muscle that needs to be exercised and you are training for a marathon – on your mark, get set….LOVE!!!!