A Jewish Matchmaker’s Guide to Embracing the Sexual Benefits of Aging…

Let’s face it, aging can be ego-slamming. Maybe it started when you noticed those first few laugh lines around your eyes, or the random strands of gray at your temples, or when you bought your first pair of reading glasses – READING GLASSES!!! Oh the indignity!

Yes, nothing kicks you to the curb of reality more than personally experiencing all those early physical manifestations of getting “old”. The truth hurts my friends; we actually aren’t forever young.

There are many, of course, who will use every trick in the book to turn back the proverbial clock, or at least slow its progression, but ultimately you are fooling no one, particularly that dynamic duo Mother Nature and Father Time. And why do you want to? Embrace these symbols of aging like a badge of honor in gratitude of the life and experiences that you’ve lived so far with, hopefully, much more life and adventure ahead!

One aspect of life after fifty that can benefit from that sense of adventure is your sex life. Truth be told, sex IS different as you get older and in some ways can actually be more satisfying than younger sex. MORE satisfying? Who am I kidding, right? Well, wrong! There are a number of factors in play now that you just didn’t have goin’ on back-in-the-day, and those factors can put the steam back in your stovepipe, if you know what I mean…… okay, forget that terrible analogy… let’s just cut to the chase…

NO PREGGERS: I’m leading with one of the biggies – over 50 (typically) means no one is getting pregnant from this romp in the sack and that means spontaneous sex is on the table (literally and figuratively)! Now that you no longer have to worry about birth control, you can take advantage of the moment and engage those engines anytime and anyplace (with some mature discretion, of course). No worries about birth control and no worries about an untimely pregnancy also means that anxiety levels are down, so you can now fully put yourself in the moment without that nagging worry that you might have to “pay” later for this pleasure now.

YOU KNOW YOU: At this stage in your life, you have a pretty good handle on what makes you tick: what you like, what you definitely DON’T like, and what knocks your socks off. Being this in-tune with yourself and your body is the very foundation of confidence, and we all know how attractive confidence is. Not only does exuding confidence draw others to you, it means you are comfortable voicing your needs and desires in bed. You know what makes you feel good, and you’re not shy about making it known, and if your partner won’t do it, you might just do it your-self! You’re also not shy about asking your partner to be vocal about his/her needs. Sounds like a win-win situation.

FOCUS: For much of our adult life we are focused on building careers and a family. Sex often takes a backseat to an exhausting schedule and the demands of work and kids. Most of us over fifty are now enjoying the fruits of all that labor, with less of our time and energy going toward climbing the corporate ladder or raising children, and more time and energy available to direct toward pleasure and leisure activities. Sex is one of those pleasurable leisure activities to which you can now devote more time and attention. Allow sex a bigger role in your life. Explore it, spend more time doing it, get to know it better. How? Flirt more than you used to, be playful, try something new – something that you might have been reluctant to do when the kids were down the hall or could walk in at any time. You’ve been having sex for DECADES and maybe you’ve gotten in a rut – same old, same old, as they say. So think out of the box, take your time or speed things up, add a different twist to each encounter, and get to know your partner all over again through the act of sex.

Of course, there can also be challenges and difficulties with sex after 50. The key is to relax and understand that what you are experiencing is normal. Some of the difficulties may be alleviated by simply spending more time in foreplay, touching and caressing. Respond to the changes in your body with understanding and compassion for yourself. There are many, many benefits to a healthy and active sex life: sex gets the bodily juices going and improves circulation, it releases bonding and feel-good chemicals that boost your mood and creates feelings of trust and intimacy between you and your partner, it increases your heart rate and burns calories, it reduces risk of heart disease, it can relieve a headache and physical pain, it reduces stress and lowers blood pressure, it increases bladder control, it feels good, AND it can add years to your already amazing life.

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